Sunday, November 15, 2009

Just an update. Wish me a happy birthday.

So, I'm taking Frater RO's Supernatural Assistant course. A lot of what he is going over, RO went over with me throughout our conversations over the past two years, but he's expounded on a lot of what he originally said, and the course has given me the opportunity to review everything again in a more coherent form and begin to reapply it after having done a lot of growth and learning.

When I first approached his Neo-Platonic basics, I had an intellectual understanding of the subjects, but a lot of the ideology didn't really sink in. Conjure magick was a very new thing to me and I hadn't yet learned how to pick up on the subtleties of spirit communication, or feeling a difference in the atmosphere, or any number of other factors that lead to a successful conjuration.

Perhaps I shouldn't say they weren't successful -- because the bumpy start is part of the success of the magick. Whether or not you experience noticeable effects, the spirit is present and is going to work for you. The process of change begins from the moment you start drawing out the lamens and the Table of Practice -- you begin interacting with the spheres and they begin harmonizing with your own sphere. A necessary and often painful process, though. My first go round with trying to acquire the Knowledge and Conversation led me to a paranoid mental breakdown and I fell away from spirituality, God, and magick altogether in my personal life. Sure, God is always present, but suffice it to say, I was not.

So, I am happy I decided to take the course. I have honestly forgotten a lot of what I originally learned, or simply read, rather and having acquired more knowledge, wisdom, and experience, I think I'm much for fit for the Work at hand. And honestly, it gives me something better to do than LBRP's every night. Not to say that's always the extent of my magickal Work, but the Neophyte rituals are my daily, no-matter-what rituals.

Even if the Knowledge and Conversation is in the relatively distant future, I fully expect a spiritual transformation from the Work I'm doing starting a week ago. I'm excited about the process and feel more well armed than last time. It's also cool to interact with other people who are using the same tech and trying to achieve the same results (no matter how different the in betweens inevitably will be.)

On a lighter note, my 22nd birthday is on Wednesday (the 18th) and I am getting a tattoo I've been waiting on. Before Scorpio was ever represented by the Scorpion, it was actually represented by the Serpent (Chaldean astrology). I thoroughly believe the Serpent is more indicative of the personality type of the Scorpio and I strongly identify with the animal. Not to mention, they're kind of just bad fucking ass.

So, here's the sketch. The final will be in color, with the M being black and blood red striped and the serpent being green.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It's a sunshiney night.

My round of daily rituals felt particularly inspired this evening. My visualizations flowed naturally and without a great deal of effort, the use of breathing techniques was without strain, and I genuinely enjoyed what I was doing. There are times that I honestly have to force myself to do my rituals -- when I am stressed out, when I am exhausted, when there is a lot of noise and distraction in the household, and most especially when it is already 11 o'clock at night and I have to be up at 4 in the morning. Yeah, it's difficult to find the motivation to devote any time, energy, or effort to LBRP's and the like when I've done them *a thousand times*. Yes, I do miss the occasional day.

So much has been said lately in regards to prayer being an essential ingredient. Honestly, I've been adamant about performing these Qabalistic rituals, yet somehow I've managed to let my prayer time slip. How is that so? How can I go about on this quest of growth and attainment without just sitting down and talking to my Maker? It's nonsense to devote so much time to man made ritual without having one-on-one time with the Source.

Considering the troubles I have had as a result of my Venus work, and considering all that I've got on my plate spiritually and all that it will require of me physically, I'd say it's time to get more serious about talking to God. This evening, I devoted so much as perhaps 3 or 4 minutes to honest, sincere prayer.

I asked God for more Wisdom, guidance, to be pure of mind, heart, and body, and to be prepared to receive the blessing of communicating with my HGA -- I prayed that He draw close to me and surround me with His comfort. The presence came and it was beautifully overwhelming. The warmth I felt within and around me was something not to miss, something I've felt before, and something I need to keep close to me. I saw shadowy figures in my mind for a moment, and the sight of this was immediately extinguished upon the appearance of a large flame in my mind -- not a menacing flame, a Holy flame. A flame of purification and of illumination -- it tied itself to another HGA related vision I had, it tied itself to the lamp of the Hermit, and in all these things, I knew I had been visited.

After which, I did my Tarot Contemplation ritual wherein I often address my HGA directly and ask for it to reveal something to me. Curiously, I landed on The Sun. How fitting.

Though I am grateful, I am hardly surprised any longer at the unusual occurrences between the cards and my spiritual communications -- they have obviously intertwined and this has led me to the conclusion that a)I have to continue speaking with the Spirits and b)I should become more adept at the cards, I obviously have a connection with them.

That is all, folks.

-Frater Serpentis et Aquila

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Wow...

Well, I haven't posted anything since I wrote about my experience with Haniel (of Venus) recently. There would be a reason. That shit stirred me up. It stirred me up in a great and a terrible way.

I did some work with Mercury and Sol which was interesting, profound, and I learned a great bit -- especially from Michael, he was talkative in that evocation.

But my work with Venus has really just thrown me off and gotten me out of sorts. Looking at it now, if there is one area more than any other that I have struggled in my entire life, it is most definitely the vices and problems within the realm of Venus. Not saying that Venus is bad, but I obviously have let that aspect get way out of whack in my sphere. I never realized that the initiation and purification process would be such a battle in the Working. I had the idea that somehow, after having my vision, I would kind of wake up anew.

Oh, hell no I didn't.

I'll post more later. I have some exciting things coming up from a few directions and some definite Work to do.